Scribblings of Robs

28 Jul 2010

Ex Files

Last night I watched the opening, playground scene from He’s just not that into you.

Cue teenage, self-absorbed, yet-slightly-funny, highschool drama post:

You know when you were 16/17/18, in high school and completely naive? You thought that this spotty, arrogant teenager was honestly the love of your life .

I look back on my 2 years and a something month relationship with him and I cringe. No really. I can’t even convey how much I cringe.

The Break Up:

His break up (albeit not via sms) has to make at least one history book somewhere. I phoned him and he proceeded to dump me via the telephone, while I was in Germany, a few weeks before our Matric dance. He kept quiet through my 10 mins of sobbing and politely asked if I was ‘Done yet?’ and hung up the phone.

I got back to Cape Town and his mum fetched me from the airport… that wasn’t an awkward car trip. He hadn’t told her either, so I had to.

Me: I don’t think he’s taking me to the dance anymore.

Her: Why on earth would you think that?

Me: Well he dumped me last week.

Her: Oh.

The AfterMath:

We both went to the same school. How to die a thousand deaths. You’re in highschool, your recent ex is in most of your classes, you’re now dateless for your matric dance and you’re both going on a small, class trip to Robben Island.

We spent a rainy afternoon traipsing around a jail (an important one) and he then took me aside into a cell, stood there and in all seriousness said that we should go to the dance together and make it the high point of our relationship. I think he was struggling to get a date.

One of my closest friend at the time confirmed this. She phoned me that night, loling herself to death because he had asked her to the dance. Smooth.

He had zero class after the break up. I mean he told family friends I babysat for, that I snorted cocaine. Which was hilarious because I’ve never even smoked a joint, so cocaine was a touch unrealistic.

Thank You:

He broke up with me several times… even on Valentines Day. He screamed and swore. He called me fat. He said my freckles looked like a disease. Endless list really. Yet I truly thought he was wonderful. Hang your head in shame Ms Hobson! But it has made me laugh. Especially when I think about how important all this nonsense used to be.

He did me a huge favour really.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6-DyqwfvhU&feature=related

LOL, it’s so dam true.