Scribblings of Robs

8 Apr 2010

You Won’t See This In British Tabloids

A warm, proudly South African Welcome to World Cup 2010.

FIFA is ruling the balls-up with a studded boot, Malema has been learning democracy in Zim, the roadworks are in full delay, our mascot has a suspect hairdo, bullet proof vests are being flogged to the Germans and the Brit tabloids are happily spreading mass avoid-SA hysteria across their tiny island … things are really looking up.

In case you’re more into Bieber than the BBC, here’s the highlights package .

Malema sang a rather silly song. The song had lyrics that included ‘Kill the Boer.’ He was accused of hate speech and slapped on the wrist with a fine of R50 000. Good thing he has all those mysterious millions.

A few weeks later Eugene Terre’Blanche was attacked and murdered on his farm in Ventersdorp. ET ( not the alien) was the supremacist founder and leader of the AWB. It has been stated by some parties that Terre’Blanche was murdered as a result of Malemas hate speech.

Malema ( in his infinite wisdom ) sang the song again. He has denied all links between his sing-song and the murder. He is now back in Sandton, enjoying the aircon in the revolutionary building and swearing at the BBC. (Catch the press conference at TimesLive)

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Tensions are running high to a soundtrack of Kill the Boer, Die Stem and Make the Circle Beega! AWB secretary Andre Visagie and Africa360 host Chris Maroleng are now one-hit wonders in Touch Me In My Studio : SA’s answer to American Idols “pants on the ground.” Simon is going to come knocking at any minute.

Foreign papers have leapt on the situation with glee and Britain’s “most successful newspaper” has happily warned world cup tourists that they will be welcomed to the South African bloodbath by machete-bearing locals . This is the one and only time we’ll ever see Rooney, Malema and Eugene sharing a page in the Daily Star. Cherish it.

I am going to rock up at the airport drenched in tomato sauce, waving a Vuvuzela so they won’t be disappointed.

So Britain, Germany and any other country currently drumming up bad PR for South Africa, there’s no need. We’re doing quite fine on our own. Here’s what we really do to our tourists.

You’ve been warned.