Scribblings of Robs

26 Mar 2010

Average Girl: Tiger Tiger and The Mop Lady

So I was desperate to go dancing and decided to go to Tiger Tiger: the nighttime playground of all things pretentious in Cape Town. Even the wallpaper passes judgment if your hair is not straight, your nails are not manicured and you don’t have the seal of snob approval.

I had a really great night . I love dancing. Not that lame sway from side- to- side and try your best to look like a pouty, wannabe fashion model dancing. That proper dancing where the rhythm jumps into your spine and you don’t care what you look like.

While I was grooving away a rather drunk girl stood on my foot … not only interrupting the groove but also getting her stiletto heel (thinnest heel in the world) stuck inside my shoe. She stomped and shook her foot several times ( and me with it)  and broke loose. My foot is purple at the moment, with a slight tinge of green and hurts.

Like driving, heavy machinery and flying you should be made to take a test before operating stilettos.

Ignored the pain and several lawnmowers, window washing,  sprinklers, John Travolta impressions, shopping trolleys and spirit fingers  later I took a time out and stood near the stairs.

Admiring the support that a counter can offer tired legs, I suddenly felt this damp, stringy thing brushing up the back of my leg. You can imagine my horror. Screeched ( as all brave girls do) and jumped around to see what it was. Turns out it was the mop that the mop lady uses to clean the floor. Not a nice Veri-Mark type mop… but a proper stringy, moist breeding ground for all things gross that live on nightclub floors.

Laughed about it for a quite a while, so did my friends.

A few meaningful songs later (Have a Baby by Me) the female component of an aggressively kissing couple (must have been the meaningful lyrics) who had been standing just behind me, accidentally swept up my hair in their passionate kiss.  I won’t lie, that was awkward.

Had a really great night though

Side Note: Why do some guys always rev their cars in parking lots/driveways/roads/anywhere that allows cars? We saw that you were a male, you don’t have to labour the point.

Got home to discover the Bag and Coat lady had nicked cash out of my bag.

Ironic much?