Scribblings of Robs

26 Feb 2010

Average Girl: Thank you Martha Stewart

Cape Town is currently playing host to the 13th international Design Indaba, with the much publicized and anticipated guest speaker: Martha Stewart. Martha, who arrived late (think it was something to do with the fingerprint system : oh the beautiful irony) was unknowingly about to give probably the worst talk of the conference.

Martha: Prior to causing mass exodus

Thank you Ms Stewart for brightening up my day. Your talk  (read sales pitch) caused a mass exodus, which relieved me from the complete, utter, life-draining boredom I was experiencing outside (when all the delegates are inside indaba’ing, there is not much to do). It also saved me from having to twiddle my thumbs and think about extreme high-heel induced pain (the man who invented those needs to wear them for a 6 hour stint).

At first a few people cautiously tiptoed out… I thought perhaps she had ended early.  Looking at the twitter wall I saw rather unimpressed opinions begin to emerge.  A few more delegates appeared. The twitter feed suddenly exploded and literally dozens of delegates flooded out the doors. Words like “ one big advert”, “wtf” and “what a joke”, ” we were lucky we could get out”, and “who cares about her houses,” were thrown around.

Favourite Quote: “Watching Cot Death would be more entertaining”.

Apparently  Martha was conducting a sales pitch about her magazines, website and all things Martha.Perhaps she missed the concept of the design indaba.

Eventually loads of escapees were packed, enthralled around the twitter wall outside the auditorium. Giggling at the people still trapped inside: the poor, envious guy who was stuck in the middle row and couldn’t get out. The man asking to be smothered with a stenciled Hawaiian Flower Cushion.  The lady who wanted a nap. The man who suggested Martha author a book entitled, ”How to Clear a Room”.

With each new tweet, the laughter grew louder! Eventually  an announcement sounded, asking  everyone  to please remember a presentation was in progress and could we all keep quiet .

Enthralled Escapees

Sadly had to leave as my shift had finished.

Poor Martha. Inspire people, don’t Wikipedia yourself when writing your speech… and don’t talk about your houses

Thank you though: you livened up my shift with a bit of impromptu comedy.